Living Authentically: Becoming your True Self

In a world that often encourages people to fit in with societal expectations, you can worry about fear and judgement if you decide that you do not want to conform to those ideals. If you decide to actively pursue other paths, you can be labelled as the 'black sheep' of the family and looked upon as someone who is being troublesome and difficult. At a recent family gathering, I openly spoke about how I saw myself as the 'black sheep' of the family because I was the first in my generation to move away from the local area.

What I realised after not only years but decades of shaping my life into something I was pleased with, I realised that I was not being selfish, I was trying to live authenitcally. I also came to the realisation that authenticity is not about rebellion—it's about alignment. It’s about shedding the layers of expectation and stepping into the truth of who you are.

Sometimes a significant life change may occur such as illness or grief which makes you reflect on your priorities. From the outside looking in, others may see it as you just making 'bad' or unpopular decisions. For example, deciding not to have children, changing your career or making changes to your personal appearance that people frown upon. What people do not always realise is that you have been wanting to make those changes for a while and the opportunity arose - allowing you to act.

What does living authentically mean?

It means you are making choices that reflect your values, beliefs, and desires—not those imposed by society, family, or peers. It’s about being honest with yourself and others, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about showing up as you, not a curated version designed to please or impress.

It is more than just being honest or expressing your opinions. It’s about embodying your truth in every aspect of life—your relationships, your work, your choices, and your inner dialogue. It’s the art of aligning your outer life with your inner values.

It means:

• Saying yes when you mean yes, and no when you mean no.

• Pursuing goals that reflect your soul, not just your resume.

• Letting go of roles and identities that no longer serve you.

• Trusting your intuition, even when it defies logic or tradition.

What stops us from living authentically? 

Even when we want to live more truthfully, there are a number of things that can stop us;

• Fear of rejecton or judgement from those closest to us.

• Social conditioning of what we have beentold is right or wrong.

• Limiting beliefs that create invisible walls and barriers.

• Past trauma or shame that you need to face in order to move forward.

Why does it matter?

People tend to wear masks infront of others, whether it is out of obligation, fear, judgement or many other reasons. This can be mentally, emotionally and psychologically exhausting. You may struggle to know your true identity, as you look to pretend or act a specific way for so long, you forget who you want to be.

When you decide to live authentically you experience things like;

• Deeper relationships with others built on trust and vulnerability

• More fulfilment in your life as your actions align with your valies

• Reduced anxiety and burnout as you let go of the masks

How do I start living authentically?

Living authentically doesn’t mean being fearless—it means being brave despite the fear. It’s a practice, not a destination. And every small act of truth-telling is a step in the right direction. The journey may be messy, but it can also beautiful. Because when you live as your true self, you don’t just change your life—you give others permission to do the same.